I'm noticing all these smart, talented young women who are rejecting their mother's idea that it is possible to have it all. These bloggers are forging ahead with their own ideas of how to live a life, and struggling with opposing viewpoints which neglect how important it is to run one's own race.
We each have our own experiences growing up, and all families are different- but there is a common thread here, a swing back to the 50's if you will so to speak, and I am intrigued.
Is it because our generation grew up with no clean towels, a father and mother that if they were together were so stressed out, lonely after school times, fast food, lack of mentoring and guidance, and the idea of the Boomers that to be a success one has to have career success, and the beautiful clean home and great marriage as well? I've been looking around at these women who are the mother's of my generation, and I can't help but not want what they have.
Why is that?
To me so many seem tired, worn out, overweight, depressed, regretful, and frustrated with their children and spouses. Is this just reality? I know there are lots of women in the Boomer generation who have made choices NOT to have it all. I just don't personally know very many, and so perhaps my viewpoint is off.
It saddens me, (almost had a minor in women's studies)that women have come so far, and yet there is this great divide. And we seem to judge so harshly (yup, I'm guilty) and I wonder if there really is an "all" anyway, and will we reach a day where these communications are more open and the Boomers can talk with us, really talk, and maybe a whole cynical judgemental generation will go on in new/old directions because for all our flaws, we are a sharp bunch us youngsters - even if outnumbered.
Run your own race...thoughts?
3 comments:
Interesting post! Well... what can I say? Do I want to go back to the 50's? Not really. What I do aim at, is to live life like God asks women to. I, too, wish there was more understanding between generations.
Something that pains me greatly is to see women in their 20's (mostly) who want it all and are demanding it from those who love them - the "it's all about me" girls. They are cocky, impetuous, demanding and rude. They want to be a princess and insist their husbands/boyfriends pay their way and wait on them hand and foot.
Yes, despite being a mere 40 (and on the edge of the boomer generation), I have a very 50's mentality when it comes to my relationship with my husband. I make his coffee in the morning and will bring him a cup wherever he is, do the laundry, cook healthy gourmet meals, and immensely enjoy spending time with him. In exchange, he takes care of the house and yard, cars, and pretty much treats me like a queen. That's just a snapshot, but I think you get the idea.
Let me say this - I am far from being a doormat. We have a great balance of give-and-take and it works for us - we've been married almost 20 years.
It's OK to want it all and to work hard for it. If everything is handed to you, you don't appreciate it in the end. But to be fair, you need to take care of yourself, too. Balance is the key.
Just my two cents.
This is a very thought-provoking post. As a boomer, my thought is this: We grew up in an era where women had few choices. A few women worked because they had to and, for the most part, those jobs were limited and limiting. When we, as a generation, came of age, we did not want to be "stuck" at home like mom. As women, we were educated and we wanted to be independent and "do our own thing." Remember, this was the 60s, a time of widespread revolution and upheaval. The roles of men and women were very clearly defined in those days, but we wanted to forge our own path.
We wanted to make our own decisions, not have men tell us what to do and how far we could go. We wanted our own money and our own lives. We wanted "it all."
What could we know of the consequences? We had no role models. Just mom in her apron, making pot roast, completely financially dependent on dad, seemingly with no life or mind of her own. It seemed like a fate worse than death.
So, some of us became CEOs, doctors, lawyers. We went places previously only men could go. We opened doors and broke through the glass ceiling. Many of us did follow mom and have families in the role of what is now called SAHM, but often it was economics and not independent thinking that forced us to go out and work. Either way, having careers and children, and maybe husbands (let's not forget single moms--50% of marriages end in divorce) to take care of spread us thin.
As children of clear sexual role-model parents, it was still highly unusual for a man to do the laundry, let alone stay home with the kids. This was pretty much unheard of in our boomer generation. Look how things have changed.
The bottom line is, I think, in one word: Evolution. We will always want to do things differently than our parents. Each generation is smarter than the last, and has its own ideas about how things should be done, how life should be lived.
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